Vomitorium
We now live in our very own House of Poo with an inbuilt Vomitorium. Let me explain....
What they don't tell you about in Baby books is that when your Babies start teething the contents of their nappies become indescribably evil. The smell is so over powering that it makes your eyes water, the insides of your nostrals feel like they are burning and in general you feel violated. These nappies really are the original weapons of mass destruction. No wonder the Geneva Convention banned chemical and biological weapons.
Ok I acknowledge that it can't be much fun for our babies either. However they don't seem to care. Gone of the days when Harry would scream his head off if his nappy was slightly wet, oh no.....
Harry has a new trick, when he is sat in his chair he will start to arch his back and then flatten himself out repeatedly. This basically pumps/squirts the contents of his nappy half way up his back and maximizes the area of devastation. What adds insult to injury is that when you change him he tries to put his feet in the soiled nappy whilst grabbing your hand and smiling proudly at his muck spreading abilities.
Ben on the other hand still has reflux and is sick after most meals. Sometimes a tiny amount other times he produces a pavement pizza a Friday night drunken docker would be proud of. This means a mountain of washing each week and another curious smell that has invaded our house.
The boys were weighed the last Friday and Harry now weighs a wopping 15.6 lbs whilst Ben weighs 15.2 lbs. Unfortunately Bens reflux means that he doesn't digest as much food as Harry so he is slightly smaller now. All being well once they are both fully weaned onto solids Bens reflux will stop. Until then Carol and I will have to accept that we now live in a house that smells like an open sewer and with summer gone we can't really open our windows and get a breeze through to clear the air, the boys would get too cold.
The things you do / endure for love !
I shall delight in reminding the boys of what they put us through on their respective wedding days :-)
Revenge is so very very sweet.
Needless to say there won't be any photographs of this subject matter for you to enjoy !
What they don't tell you about in Baby books is that when your Babies start teething the contents of their nappies become indescribably evil. The smell is so over powering that it makes your eyes water, the insides of your nostrals feel like they are burning and in general you feel violated. These nappies really are the original weapons of mass destruction. No wonder the Geneva Convention banned chemical and biological weapons.
Ok I acknowledge that it can't be much fun for our babies either. However they don't seem to care. Gone of the days when Harry would scream his head off if his nappy was slightly wet, oh no.....
Harry has a new trick, when he is sat in his chair he will start to arch his back and then flatten himself out repeatedly. This basically pumps/squirts the contents of his nappy half way up his back and maximizes the area of devastation. What adds insult to injury is that when you change him he tries to put his feet in the soiled nappy whilst grabbing your hand and smiling proudly at his muck spreading abilities.
Ben on the other hand still has reflux and is sick after most meals. Sometimes a tiny amount other times he produces a pavement pizza a Friday night drunken docker would be proud of. This means a mountain of washing each week and another curious smell that has invaded our house.
The boys were weighed the last Friday and Harry now weighs a wopping 15.6 lbs whilst Ben weighs 15.2 lbs. Unfortunately Bens reflux means that he doesn't digest as much food as Harry so he is slightly smaller now. All being well once they are both fully weaned onto solids Bens reflux will stop. Until then Carol and I will have to accept that we now live in a house that smells like an open sewer and with summer gone we can't really open our windows and get a breeze through to clear the air, the boys would get too cold.
The things you do / endure for love !
I shall delight in reminding the boys of what they put us through on their respective wedding days :-)
Revenge is so very very sweet.
Needless to say there won't be any photographs of this subject matter for you to enjoy !
posted by Simon at 8:24 AM
1 Comments:
Oh God... it was a bad idea to read this entry whilst having my McDonalds lunch! LOLOLOL
Thanks for NOT posting any pics - much appreciated ;-)
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